Flurries

Really the subject line only has to do with the flurry of activity I've put into this site in the last couple days. I hadn't blogged for about a month and then three new ones. The moral of the story is that it still snows in April, this is PA after all.

"This day's been crazy, but everything happened on schedule" comes close to describing the previous twenty-four, as I ran non-stop from 9 a.m.- 5 p.m., but then wasted all my time after that. The days seem to take on this new, almost ethereal feel to them. I remain disconnected and sorta floating in space, suspended between the things that I am, the places I abide, and where I am. I'm being pulled by the weights and cares of the future, which remains yet unseen, while still being strained by the daily requirement thrust upon me by school.

Today I listened to my roommate for awhile. I think he's hurting more deeply than I ever suspected prior, and I think his constant negativity and undaunted cynicism, having emerged spontaneously from the most random of topics, are inflamed with passion because of self-disgust whenever situations reminiscent to his failures are broached.

Then I started thinking about what he needs. Does he need a lecture on getting on top of his schoolwork, or on not skipping chapel so frequently, or about getting up on time, or possibly about cleaning the storage compartment that is our room? Not likely, for that will probably send him deeper into spiral. Not exactly effective. But what may work is loving acceptance. I think. I'm going to give it a try. I think I need to affirm him and he will amend the things that he must. At least that is my hope.

I want to make sure, also, that when I affirm him that it is truly meaningful and not simply cast aside as some trite, cliche comment. I want him to move toward understanding that there are still good things within him. I think the sooner his confidence has something to build on, something to counteract all the negative self-talk, he may be able to proceed in his other priorities of life.

So this was my stream of consciousness at 1:46am. Hopefully it made sense.

Seeking the next peak, catching a glimpse of what is to come...
-Storyteller